May I let my voice be a clarion call. I will use these words for justice. I will use these words for truth. And humour.

Monday, November 27, 2006


I don't think I blogged on this salvation comparison yet, so...

Somebody must be reading my brain. (Though I would argue that the Catholic church has produced several products, many of them perhaps unintended...)

Seriously, the salvation I intend to be preaching is going to be a significantly better product, will cost a lot more, may actually ship, and will need to be able to compete with that deadly combination of intensely strong marketing and a glimmering, appealing product that requires no tech support.

I'm having difficulty figuring out a marketing scheme.

Freedom of Choice - A Perfect Circle
Let's Have a War - A Perfect Circle

colors: grey with rainbows

mood: okay. procrastinatey, sluggish

chant/prayer/mantra: all hail the almighty 'product'

pax hominibus,

Yes, brothers and sisters, act now and recieve as our free gift to you a one way ticket to salvation, redemption and eternal bliss, and we'll throw in this free foot bone from Saint Felonious Assaltus, along with some of Jerry Falwell's own toenail clippings. The RevJD brand salvation is low fat, reduces blood pressure and is totally new and unique in an old fashioned and produced in cruelty free labs, far from the tainted love offered by other ministers most sinister, and is free of harmfull negative closeted sexual energy and methamphetamines!

Please note: It may be illegal in some states, such as Kansas and North Dakota, as well as most dry communities south of the mason dixon line, and can cause unusual mental and spiritual growth spurts in those addicted to old testament styles of thinking. Return any unused portions for partial refunds to:
Cthulhu Eldergod Spirituality Guides
666 Frozeover Lane, Underworld HE
marketing is definitely gonna be a challenge on that one, when you've got the whole "salvation for some people but not for all" thing to compete with - that satisfies the 'I'm better than you' crowd pretty well, and tosses in the 'he who dies with the most toys wins' crowd too. Maybe you could join forces with that guy who was on This American Life a while back, who came to the conclusion that hell was a bunch of bunk and the god he'd been preaching was a monster.
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