i've finally decided to just start clearing my email inbox out. while i do it, i'm going to just write a list of what tunes show up on on the media shuffler:

1. Sugar Mountain by Neil Young
2. Sing Your Life - Morrissey
3. There's Too Much Love - Belle and Sebastian
4. The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll [Live] - Bob Dylan
5. Lisa Says - The Velvet Underground [Live]
6. TP Parter - Butthole Surfers
7. La, La, La, He, He, Hee - Prince
8. John, I Love You - Sinead O'Connor
9. How Beautiful You Are - The Cure
10. Store Bought Bones - The Raconteurs
11. I still Miss Someone - Johnny Cash
12. Hot Pants Explosion - The B-52's
13. Spread Eagle Beagle - The Melvins
14. De doo doo doo, De da da da - The Police
15. To All the Girls I've Loved Before - Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias

colors: Red, Green, Yellow stripes on a pair of Adidas

mood: tired

chant/prayer/mantra: keep at it, man.


pax hominibus,
joel

A good friend of mine is an ethnobotanist, and is studying kava. Just got in a news article about it.

For those without myspace accounts, the original article is here.


pax hominibus,
joel

okay...
Upon rereading, it looks like I've posted a whole bunch in the last couple days. I'm going to rest a bit and give you all a chance to catch up.

I just checked my blog stats for the first time in a few months, and readership is up a smidge. AND they have a new feature that's hooked into Google maps, so one can see the location of the visitors, or at least their ISP.

pushpin map of locations for recent readers of this blog

lyrics:
And when a child is born into this world
It has no concept
Of the tone the skin is living in
It's not a second
Seven seconds away
Just as long as I stay
I'll be waiting.
-Youssou N'Dour, Seven Seconds Away

colors: red green yellow

mood: tired. i went to bed at 5:00 a.m., and i am now fully phase-shifted.

chant/prayer/mantra: something or nother about yosemite. something grand, about the purple mountains majesty, etc.

pax hominibus,
joel

giggle. what's power all about?

more importantly, has george bush been using the power
he does have to do work that needs to be done?


pax hominibus,
joel

.
in essence, each person gets an ipod. yes, every human being should have a decent mp3 player, but food, clothing, shelter, safety, for everyone first. (ipods are nice, but they still have a ways to go before they're ready for prime-time, imo).

on that ipod, they'll each have say, 100,000 songs, set to shuffle. for each song's record in the onboard database, iTunes can link up with the mothership/server to download user ratings for each database-record. then you hit shuffle, and your songs will play with a weighted shift toward the ones others have voted positively on. whenever you hear songs, you can mod it up or down, or neutral. the next time you link up yr ipod to itunes, it will send back your votes, which then are returned to influence others.

however, just like today's arstechnica article on electronic voting shows, here the voting on songs/messages had better be stone-cold secure from corruption. otherwise, imagine a world where Hank Mohaski has hacked into the mothership secure-voting database and spreads his playlist like a virus. Oooh! N-no!!!


pax hominibus,
joel

PS - come to ACIDplanet radio, (choose among genres if you like) and click "Play Chart" to listen to the latest homespun hits!
(you may need to install a media player if you have an older operating system.)

Somebody might wonder why I've been holding out so long. But really, I've been confused. Somewhere, I read a quote to the affect of "no matter what happens, confusion is often the best response." I feel that way frequently. Confusion will be my epitaph. (Yay, King Crimson!)

Besides, a professor of mine mentioned a little something in class about Howard Thurman saying:

"I think that God has always been trying to say something through me. And 3/4ths of the time, I think I got it wrong!"

If a man of his caliber is only getting it right 25% of the time, I dare to dream that my batting average would ever get above .222. but then i do swing for the bleachers.

lyrics: OMFG,... PJ Harvey -- Rub Til it Bleeds. How mind-shockingly appropriate. I am still in love with her for her Passion. The visceral grasp behind her voice always gets me in the mood.

Rub Til it Bleeds

Speak I'm listening
Baby, I'm your sweet thing
Believe, what I'm saying
God's truth, I'm not lying
I....
Lie Steady
Rest your head on me
I'll smooth it nicely
Rub it better, 'til it bleeds
I....
And you believed me
Caught out again
I'm calling you weak
Getting even

Oh.. I was joking
Sweet babe, Let me stroke it
Take.. I'm giving
God's truth I'm not lying
I......

And 'Away' by the Meat Puppets

below the road a dozen times now
within the leeway behind the sandhouse
the fascinating book of strings
picks the leaves
that drift down in between
suns to lift up in between
they told some stories like you've never seen
just about everything slips down in between
mine to lift up and to follow
in the steps of fluids hollow
without time we pick up all the streams
to find the leaves
that drift down in between

oh, and then Exodus 10 (gotta love iTunes shuffle...):

Exodus 10 (King James Version) [th version i listen to on audio-mp3 is the world english bible. not sure what kind of ideological/theological (is not an 'ideology' just a type of 'prejudiced-theology' influenced by some presumed fact?) bent the writers may have, regarding the early old testament stories. The original books of the bible may have been the real record of the divine word of God spoken through prophets, judges, kings, and common-folk, but unless the humans who chose to translate it into our current language are truly divinely-guided (and not ideological) AND unless the humans who choose to interpret it today, for themselves and for others, are divinely-guided, that word of God is now only a troublesome verisimilitudinous version of the original. IOW, get over it, no book of God translated into English can be _the_ word of God, it's just the Word, eh? much love, and blessed be. over and in.]

Exodus 10

1And the LORD said unto Moses, Go in unto Pharaoh: for I have hardened his heart, and the heart of his servants, that I might shew these my signs before him:

2And that thou mayest tell in the ears of thy son, and of thy son's son, what things I have wrought in Egypt, and my signs which I have done among them; that ye may know how that I am the LORD.

3And Moses and Aaron came in unto Pharaoh, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD God of the Hebrews, How long wilt thou refuse to humble thyself before me? let my people go, that they may serve me.

4Else, if thou refuse to let my people go, behold, to morrow will I bring the locusts into thy coast:

5And they shall cover the face of the earth, that one cannot be able to see the earth: and they shall eat the residue of that which is escaped, which remaineth unto you from the hail, and shall eat every tree which groweth for you out of the field:

6And they shall fill thy houses, and the houses of all thy servants, and the houses of all the Egyptians; which neither thy fathers, nor thy fathers' fathers have seen, since the day that they were upon the earth unto this day. And he turned himself, and went out from Pharaoh.

7And Pharaoh's servants said unto him, How long shall this man be a snare unto us? let the men go, that they may serve the LORD their God: knowest thou not yet that Egypt is destroyed?

8And Moses and Aaron were brought again unto Pharaoh: and he said unto them, Go, serve the LORD your God: but who are they that shall go?

9And Moses said, We will go with our young and with our old, with our sons and with our daughters, with our flocks and with our herds will we go; for we must hold a feast unto the LORD.

10And he said unto them, Let the LORD be so with you, as I will let you go, and your little ones: look to it; for evil is before you.

11Not so: go now ye that are men, and serve the LORD; for that ye did desire. And they were driven out from Pharaoh's presence.

12And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand over the land of Egypt for the locusts, that they may come up upon the land of Egypt, and eat every herb of the land, even all that the hail hath left.

13And Moses stretched forth his rod over the land of Egypt, and the LORD brought an east wind upon the land all that day, and all that night; and when it was morning, the east wind brought the locusts.

14And the locust went up over all the land of Egypt, and rested in all the coasts of Egypt: very grievous were they; before them there were no such locusts as they, neither after them shall be such.

15For they covered the face of the whole earth, so that the land was darkened; and they did eat every herb of the land, and all the fruit of the trees which the hail had left: and there remained not any green thing in the trees, or in the herbs of the field, through all the land of Egypt.

16Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron in haste; and he said, I have sinned against the LORD your God, and against you.

17Now therefore forgive, I pray thee, my sin only this once, and intreat the LORD your God, that he may take away from me this death only.

18And he went out from Pharaoh, and intreated the LORD.

19And the LORD turned a mighty strong west wind, which took away the locusts, and cast them into the Red sea; there remained not one locust in all the coasts of Egypt.

20But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, so that he would not let the children of Israel go.

21And the LORD said unto Moses, Stretch out thine hand toward heaven, that there may be darkness over the land of Egypt, even darkness which may be felt.

22And Moses stretched forth his hand toward heaven; and there was a thick darkness in all the land of Egypt three days:

23They saw not one another, neither rose any from his place for three days: but all the children of Israel had light in their dwellings.

24And Pharaoh called unto Moses, and said, Go ye, serve the LORD; only let your flocks and your herds be stayed: let your little ones also go with you.

25And Moses said, Thou must give us also sacrifices and burnt offerings, that we may sacrifice unto the LORD our God.

26Our cattle also shall go with us; there shall not an hoof be left behind; for thereof must we take to serve the LORD our God; and we know not with what we must serve the LORD, until we come thither.

27But the LORD hardened Pharaoh's heart, and he would not let them go.

28And Pharaoh said unto him, Get thee from me, take heed to thyself, see my face no more; for in that day thou seest my face thou shalt die.

29And Moses said, Thou hast spoken well, I will see thy face again no more.

More iTunes shuffle) - Some U2 Tune. "I..... will be with you again. On New Year's Day."

Next up, Jeremiah 35. :) seriously, I have about a dozen tens of thousands of tunes on here, so it's surprising to get two bible verses so soon one after the other. there are lots of other audiobooks on there, so i usually get some of them in between. i want to get an audiobook of sheik yassir reading from the qu'ran.

Jeremiah 35 (New International Reader's Version)

Jeremiah 35

The Family of Recab

1 A message came to me from the Lord. It came during the time Jehoiakim was king over Judah. He was the son of Josiah. The message said, 2 "Go to the members of the family line of Recab. Invite them to come to one of the side rooms in my house. Then give them wine to drink."

3 So I went to get Jaazaniah. He was the son of Jeremiah. Jeremiah was the son of Habazziniah. I also went to get Jaazaniah's brothers and all of his sons. That included all of the members of the family line of Recab. 4 I brought them into the Lord's house. I took them into the room of the sons of Hanan. He was the son of Igdaliah. He was also a man of God. His room was next to the room of the officials. Their room was above the room of Maaseiah. He was the son of Shallum. He also was one of those who guarded the temple doors. 5 Then I got bowls full of wine and some cups. I set them down in front of the men from the family line of Recab. I said to them, "Drink some wine."

6 But they replied, "We don't drink wine. That's because Jonadab gave us a command. He was the son of Recab. He was also one of our own people from long ago. He commanded, 'You and your children after you must never drink wine. 7 Also you must never build houses. You must never plant crops or vineyards. You must never have any of those things. Instead, you must always live in tents. Then you will live a long time in the land where you are wandering around.'

8 "We have done everything Jonadab, the son of Recab, commanded us to do. So we and our wives and our children have never drunk wine. 9 We have never built houses to live in. We've never had vineyards, fields or crops. 10 We've always lived in tents. We've completely obeyed everything Jonadab commanded our people of long ago.

11 "But Nebuchadnezzar, the king of Babylonia, marched into this land. Then we said, 'Come. We must go to Jerusalem. There we can escape the armies of Babylonia and Aram.' So we have remained in Jerusalem."

12 Then a message came to me from the Lord. It said, 13 "The Lord who rules over all is the God of Israel. He says, 'Go. Speak to the people of Judah and Jerusalem. Tell them, "Won't you ever learn a lesson? Won't you ever obey my words?" announces the Lord.

Hindu Love Gods -- Battleship Chains. "you've got me tied down with battleship chains, fifty-foot long, and a two-ton anchor."

Joy Division -- Twenty-Four Hours

"So this is permanence, love's shattered pride

What once was innocence, turned on its side
Grey cloud hangs over me, marks every move
Deep in the memory of what once was love

Oh how I realised how I wanted time
Put into perspective, tried so hard to find
Just for one moment I thought I'd found my way
Destiny unfolded - I watched it slip away

Excessive flashpoints, beyond all reach
Solitary demands for all I'd like to keep
Let's take a ride out, see what we can find
A valueless collection of hopes and past desires

I never realised the lengths I'd have to go
All the darkest corners of a sense I didn't know
Just for one moment I heard somebody call
Looked beyond the day in hand - there's nothing there at all

Now that I've realised how it's all gone wrong
Got to find some therapy, this treatment takes too long
Deep in the heart of where sympathy held sway
Got to find my destiny before it gets too late"


Next to shuffle in: Deuteronomy 1

Deuteronomy 1 (Darby Translation)

Deuteronomy 1

1These are the words which Moses spoke to all Israel on this side the Jordan, in the wilderness, in the plain, opposite to Suph, between Paran and Tophel, Laban, Hazeroth, and Dizahab.

2There are eleven days' journey from Horeb by the way of mount Seir to Kadesh-barnea.

3And it came to pass in the fortieth year, in the eleventh month, on the first of the month, that Moses spoke to the children of Israel, according to all that Jehovah had given him in command to them;

4after he had smitten Sihon the king of the Amorites, who dwelt at Heshbon, and Og the king of Bashan, who dwelt at Ashtaroth [and] at Edrei.

Whoa.  Moses smote the king of the Amorites?  Could "smiting' possibly be considered as 'killing'?  I think so.
How is it that people haven't been talking about that?    It certainly wasn't God who killed the king of the Amorites,
because um, hey, lower-case 'h'.  i always thought the fifth commandment was the most important.  S and I used to joke about it occasionally.
i don't think she knows any of the others, really, or at least not which one goes with which numbr.  hehe.
neither do many christians.  hoho.
nor do several christian ministers even.  titter, tee-hee, hoihoihoihoihoi, heehawww!

i really do fondly remember those friday/saturday nights at grampa and grandma's farm
watching that little Zenith TV in the frontroom, watching heehaw. That's the one with roy clark, right?

So next up, on the iTunes TWO MORE bible verses. Unheard of -- I just yelled at my computer monitor "stop with the bible already!" i clicked two more times, and got to another U2 song, and now finally have escaped to John Coletrane (Selflessness). For the existence of John Coltrane and his music, I will say that there MUST be a benificent divine deity. :)

last song:

Many weeks now have I waited
Oh many long nights have I cried
But just to see that happy morning, happy morning
When I have you right by my side

tomorrow never comes - elvis presley

So much for elvis being the last song... Isaiah 32! More bible?! Is there a John Coltrane in iTunes Gilead!?

Wait, wait. Turns out Isaiah 32 is one of the best. "Goverment with Justice Predicted", "Complacent Women Warned of Disaster", and "The Peace of God's Reign."

3And the eyes of them that see shall not be dim, and the ears of them that hear shall hearken;

4and the heart of the rash shall understand knowledge, and the tongue of the stammerers shall be ready to speak plainly.

5The vile man shall be no more called noble, nor the churl said to be bountiful:

6for the vile man will speak villainy, and his heart will work iniquity, to practise hypocrisy, and to utter error against Jehovah, to make empty the soul of the hungry, and to cause the drink of the thirsty to fail.

7The instruments also of the churl are evil: he deviseth wicked devices to destroy the meek with lying words, even when the needy speaketh right.

8But the noble deviseth noble things; and to noble things doth he stand.

9Rise up, ye women that are at ease, hear my voice; ye careless daughters, give ear unto my speech.

10In a year and [some] days shall ye be troubled, ye careless women; for the vintage shall fail, the ingathering shall not come.

11Tremble, ye women that are at ease; be troubled, ye careless ones; strip you, and make you bare, and gird [sackcloth] on your loins!

12They shall smite on the breasts [in lamentation] for the pleasant fields, for the fruitful vineyards.

13Upon the land of my people shall come up thistles [and] briars, yea, upon all the houses of joy in the joyous city.

14For the palace shall be deserted, the multitude of the city shall be forsaken; hill and watchtower shall be caves for ever, a joy of wild asses, a pasture of flocks;

15until the Spirit be poured upon us from on high, and the wilderness become a fruitful field, and the fruitful field be counted for a forest.

16And judgment shall inhabit the wilderness, and righteousness dwell in the fruitful field.

17And the work of righteousness shall be peace; and the effect of righteousness, quietness and assurance for ever.

18And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation, and in sure dwellings, and in quiet resting-places.

19And it shall hail, coming down on the forest; and the city shall be low in a low place.

20Blessed are ye that sow beside all waters, that send forth the feet of the ox and the ass.

And the perfect tune to end on: Silence, by Ciccone Youth. Yes!!!!

A perfect mix. A little more bible than i'd expected, but still not bad. Every good mix is a little heavy on some artist or another. I'm kind of wondering if the people at the iPod company are messing with me by weighting some songs more than others. I really should get zoneAlarm to check my ports, to see if the iTunes ppl are sending/receiving wo/ my current knowledge (i could've clicked something in the unread EULA stating that i am obliged to buy all their employees sushi for all i know). damn, i'm rambling.... next!

colors: the multicolor of the center of the sun as seen off from the point of infinity.

mood: samadhic again

chant/prayer/mantra: if you've read this far, and are of like mind, and would like to get in a little help on the website above, drop a line. i've been a bit busy and scattered lately.


pax hominibus,
joel

ps - sorry about the OMFG at the top, but that's really what i was thinking. i guess i still don't take myself seriously enough as an important orator/preacher/guru to censor out the f-words if that's the adjective/noun/verb that describes my thought or feeling. maybe in 8-10 years, i'll be more mature/reserved.

Due to an unintentional woman-unfriendly joke-forwarding I just got to witness, I got to thinking about the Equal Rights Amendment (and that young Christian woman in Florida who irascibly asked about my tattoo, and whether she took my extemporaneous answer about the tattoo being about the ERA not being passed as serious or not). So this ERA thinking got me to looking around the web, and I learned a thing or two.

1. The ERA work has been going on for centuries, and the Amendment was initially introduced to congress in 1923 as the "Lucretia Mott Amendment."

2. The ERA was continually introduced every session until it passed the Congress in 1972. It does not take effect until it's been ratified by 38 (75%) of the 50 states. Thirty-five states have passed the amendment. Fifteen have not. If you're quick you may ask yourself why Illinois is colored red in the map linked above, but not in most of these maps.

I am wondering if the thing that keeps those states red in so many presidential elections is one in the same with what keeps them from giving up the car keys to women. If I had to venture a guess, I'd want to call a friend of ask the audience, but if I'd already used those lifelines, I'd say it's the fear of God. Of what God will do to a sinful nation if they abandon the customs and traditions passed down from the Israelite patriarchs (Abraham, Moses, etc).

What will it take to assuage those fears, so we can get past this? Some things take centuries or millennia to come about, but I'm not that patient. It's been 83 years.

Here's the wording:

THE EQUAL RIGHTS AMENDMENT

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

lyrics: (total coincidence -- the iTunes is on shuffle today, no lie.)

"In whatever society,
There invariably,
Will seem to be,
Just a few men,
keen to rule;
Overwhelming,
the majority,
Will assent and
allow them to do so."
-Stereolab, Outer Accelerator

colors: red, green, blue, with an army-colored tanktop

mood: i dunno.

chant/prayer/mantra: brothers and sisters only.


pax hominibus,
joel


BTW,
:| if this vote-acquisition technique holds to be true, then God the Father may continue to get His way. For a while.

:( And God the Mother will just have to wait a little while, a little while, a little while longer.

.
Just did a little speculative research...

Let's estimate the energy needs of the average home are ~2 kilowatts (a rough estimate, but not far off -- to find your likely usage, add up the items around your house with this handy chart). Checking into solar information here and here, we find a current estimate of $8-10 per watt, if you're going to set up a photovoltaic (PV) solar energy grid.

Continuing to be America-centric for the time being (I promise to become a more global thinker in time...), let's estimate that there are 3 people per household on average. With a nationwide population of 300 million, then divided by 3, we have 100 million households.

100 million households * 2000 watts/household * $8/watt gives $1.6 trillion dollars, or $1600 billion. That seems like an astronomical amount, doesn't it? Not really.

There are a couple mitigating factors, and perhaps a confounding factor, to consider here:

1. If we start producing these on a very large scale, the price will drop simply because of scale, likely by a factor of two or more.
2. This is still a relatively new technology, and there will likely be advances in technology that make solar cells more efficient at converting the sun's rays into electricity, and also technological advances that make the price go down.
3. If the energy in this system is well-distributed across and between communities, it will provide a sort of energy insurance, where if in your home, you are producing only 2kW of energy, but happen to have a 400W computer, a 1500W hairdryer, and five 60W bulbs all on at once, you'll be able to get energy that your next door neighbor isn't using. If everyone needs to have their air conditioners cranked during a certain time, or we have a series of very cloudy days, then we will need to ramp up and get more PV cells/house.
4. We can also learn to conserve energy a little (Cheney!), though it may turn out to not be necessary.

The first confounding factor is what happens if the materials used in PV cells are not easy to come by in large quantities, or if the production of large quantities of PV cells would negatively impact the environment (more than the burning of fossil fuels). Since the most efficient cells currently available are made of silicon(a close relative of sand) I don't think the former is likely to be a problem, and I'd suggest that the latter issue is likely laughable, but would like to see a study on the environmental footprint by a responsible scientist.

The second confounding factor is that this thought experiment covers only residences, and not places of business. Those can be worked into a similar model, but since I've been throwing together estimates, I didn't want to try to take on figuring out the amount of electricity the yahoo, google, ibm, cray, msn, etc servers use up, plus all of the lights that get left on all night in offices all over the country.

With all of the above said, I'd imagine that the cost of layout in real 2006 dollars for a project like this would be somewhere between $800-1000 billion (0.8 - 1 trillion). Now the question that makes us run in fear is, "How could we possibly come up with that kind of money?" Here's one way, though there are other ways of complementing this budgeting: In the US, the GNP/GDP is somewhere around ten trillion dollars as of late. At present, if everyone in the U.S. were taxed at approximately 20%, the government would bring in 2.0 trillion per year. If the government were to put only $200 billion toward this per year(half of our yearly military budget), in five years, we'd be able to pay for it.

I am not an accountant, so I won't go into the amortization, and other gobbledygook, but if the price of this were to be drawn out over it's 20+ year lifetime, it would be a small piece of the pie. And a lot of Americans could find new jobs making and installing solar panels and updating the electrical grid. What happens to all of the people who are out of work because they worked for oil or other power plants? They get free electricity, for a start. Yippee!

lyrics: Yoga for beginners theme music.

colors: pink, purple, yellow

mood: better than this morning

chant/prayer/mantra: let there be light, and PV to put it to use.


pax hominibus,
joel

Boy oh boy, that last post was gloomy. I need to remember not to post after getting up and before going out in the world. I went for a walk with our dog out in the sunshine, and while walking, realized the world (and consequently America) isn't disastrous entirely. Yes, there are problems, but I don't think the land of America, or the common people in America are the impetus, though they no doubt help serve to carry the momentum.

On another note entirely, my buddy G just sent me a link to this interesting article about the existence of God, and the existence of humanity. It's a slow and difficult read, at least for me, but a nice refresher to hear another's viewpoint. Some interesting thoughts from him, though to my mind a lot of the explanation is based on semantics. Then again, to some people the semantics are worth fighting and killing over. I wonder how important it really is for us to know whether the name in question is Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah, The Great Spirit, Om, or whatever, and whether the form of God is that of a physical human, a deity who is to be conceived of as a personified power, or a deity that transcends all time and space, and is beyond description in written word, and even beyond conception within our cute little minds.

To me, it's more important that we survive and coexist for now, so that our human and angelic intelligence can survive long enough for us to address these questions with the kind of deep consideration that can only come during a less pressurized era on this cute little rock.

lyrics: Some Steely Dan song. I've been listening to a lot of Steely Dan lately, since buying Aja and Katy Lied for S's birthday. And for my class on the old testament, we got to study the Tel Dan Stele a few weeks ago. Coincidence?

colors: beyond description

mood: bleary, less mad

chant/prayer/mantra: i'm just recalling the "Do Right Rule," coined by a man we used to call Big Dad (our very solidly built 6'3" high school track (and football) coach). The "Do Right Rule" invokes a failsafe where if there isn't a rule in the rulebook, you must do right in the best way that you understand it. He was a mormon. I miss him.


pax hominibus,
joel


btw, while looking up the Joshua link above, I typed in "Joshua 21" to get to a bible (instead of Judges 21:25, which serves as a bit of a condemnation of the Do-Right rule, especially for unscrupulous peoples), and came across this site, which includes the phrase "Power is not in knowledge. Power is in obedience. True spiritual authority rests with those who hear and obey." I'm still pondering that.

.
I'm mad.

Since only about five to ten people ever read this blog anyway, I'm just going to rant for one post, at the tacit behest of hundreds of sex-slaves in Korea, and hope that government thugs don't come rap my knuckles for saying what I feel justice compels. Upon re-reading this post, its sort of a screed, but not altogether inaccurate. I expect most people will wander off before they read to the end, with the part about the Pilates Abs theme... (even when writing this very important screed, I can't take myself all that seriously -- what's wrong with me?)

Direct from the U.S. Army news site:

"Hundreds of trafficked women, mostly from former Soviet bloc countries and the Philippines, are forced by local bar owners to work as prostitutes in bars that cater to American servicemen."

"The U.S. military leadership in Korea says it is powerless to put a stop to the practice, which they claim is the responsibility of the Korean police."

"While U.S. troops continue to be the sex-slave racket's best customers, U.S. commanders turn a blind eye. And there's no end in sight."

Several stories: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

So... it's apparent that U.S. servicemen have a healthy sex drive (I have no problem with that part -- everyone should have a healthy sex drive), and are stuck over in Korea for several months at a time. Their options for dealing with that sexual energy include 1) masturbation (forgive me if I'm behind the times... do they get much privacy over there, or do they share bunk-rooms still?); 2) complete monastic abstinence; 3) finding a girlfriend on the side over there; 4) getting a quick fix via prostitutes with no strings attached. Maybe there are more options, but that's not my point. If these guys have girlfriends/wives/lovers at home, why are they over there and not here? If Americans are so concerned about human rights, why are we not only not providing Johns, but actually shutting them down through force (diplomatic, military, or otherwise)? I'm led to guess the answer is that we don't care, or more specifically the top brass doesn't care. It's more important to keep our political and economic interests intact than to care about these women (and perhaps some men as well) who are forced to repeatedly have sex against their will. According to one of the articles, Donald Rumsfeld says we need to do something about it. That reads as what's known in the business as "lip service." I'm sure it's as high on his list as finding the guys who stole the Big Lebowski's car was for the LAPD. ("They're working around the clock in shifts.") The presence of US soldiers in that country is bad for hundreds of sex-slaves, and bad for our reputation. Pull them out of there, or at least move their wives and families over there so they can have a decent home life.

If this is what America stands for, and I am against this, then consequently I would be against America. If this, and war to protect our security (at the expense of all else), are what America stands for, then I must be anti-American. From what I've heard recently, however, now is not a good time to be against America as it's defined by the business interests of the wealthy elite. So I'm not going to say I'm anti-American. I am still pro-America all the way.

We will need a new term for this type of America. For now, as a placeholder, let's call it Peace-America. (Keep in mind, the peace I here am referring to is Real Peace, and not Satan Peace.)

If one is to be pro-Peace-American, here is a list of where one might stand:

• For international relations based on communication and justice
• Against international relations based on economic and military power
• For faith in the decency of other humans when they're treated decently
• Against having fear of other humans because of the way we've treated them (we REALLY need to break the cycle on this one.)
• For fair trials and fair treatment for everyone suspected/accused of a crime
• Against secret tribunals and treatment of prisoners that violates the Geneva convention
• For genuine human rights (globally), including for those who are forced into sex-slavery
  
• Against the violation of human rights for those who speak against injustices committed by the government and corporations
• For a sustainable environment, which is a commonwealth we all share and draw from
• Against an economic system which considers the environment as a factor only when its deterioration affects profits

This list could go on for a while, but suffice it to ask, "When has America become SO foul in its actions that one can no longer hold one's head up in pride and call themselves an American?"

1. Our political system is off-limits to members of the middle-class, the working-class, and the working-poor, unless they're able to get major support from a corporate lobby. Members of our government are harrassing teenage boys via email, and its swept under the rug. And I think a majority, or at least a plurality, of Americans don't even trust the voting system at this point. Exit polls off from results by over FOUR standard deviations? Blacks being denied the vote. Unreal.
   
2. Our media system is truly a sham, reporting consistently on stuff that serves to entertain, while events with huge impact are happening and get no coverage. And the spin on the events that do get covered would be shocking to one unfamiliar with our culture.
   
3. Our military system is using depleted uranium in Iraq, causing cancer rates to skyrocket. Our soldiers are not being welcomed over there. And they torture people. And they go see sex slaves. And kill innocent civilians. The military-industrial complex is making good money however.
   
4. Our economic system chugs along keeping CEOs accountable quarter by quarter, and keeping vision only cares about our citizens' health insofar as they're able to contribute to corporate profits, and literally discards them into the streets if they are unable to provide appropriate labor.
   
5. Our justice system is absolutely hosed. The greatest court in the land decided to appoint our president, nullifying the votes of every American, and still has authority.
   
6. Our religious system is so monstrously unrecognizable from the actual values of Christ (and Buddha, and Mohammed), it makes me want to cry. No, I won't expound on that right now.
   
7. Our educational system is designed to shape youths' minds into obedient productive workers, not broad thinkers. From the youth voices I've heard from, they're either acquiescing, overcoming, or uninterested.
   
8. Our primary recreational system, even, revolves around watching television, drinking, surfing the internet, watching television, and playing video games.
   

Those who would organize to make change have their hands fully tied and at best can distribute a few flyers on the street, and are fatigued. AND the worst part of it is that the clock is ticking while many catastrophic events await on the horizon.

This is not the America I remember. The America I remember, the one that calls out to me, is the one I believed in as a child. The one they told me existed. The one that did exist, as far as I was concerned, until I started to see the cracks in the facade. I was a kid when Nixon and Ford were in office. Were those innocent times? I guess to me, they were.

America is resourceful. America needs to think outside the box. America can make good things happen, but not like this.

lyrics: The background theme from Pilates Abs

colors: grey, dark grey

mood: um, mad?

chant/prayer/mantra: okay i need to relax a bit for my health.


pax hominibus,
joel

courtesy of the movie i watched last night, i've updated this page.


pax hominibus,
joel

Today, I've had three media/democracy-related things come across my view.

1) Somebody sent me a link to this startlingly frank opinion piece by MSNBC Anchorman Keith Olbermann regarding recent legislation (The Military Commissions Act) pushed through by the Bush admin, which disposes of Habeus Corpus. If you have Internet Explorer 6 or later, watch the video. Otherwise, the text pretty much sums it up but loses a bit of the ire in his voice.

2) I just got done watching a documentary entitled "Orwell Rolls in His Grave," that is the best available information on what is happening with the media today (or in 2003-2004), and how it connects to politics, and to the state of political affairs in America today. It's no blockbuster, but if you have any interest in being a true patriot in America or any other nation (the propaganda machine they've got rolling is big enough to roll into China, Europe and anywhere else the multinationals have interests), you must rent this film.

3) I just read a story about how the BBC admitted its "guilt" in being left-leaning, and "disproportionately over-represented by gays and ethnic minorities." Sorry, did I miss something where someone declared that a crime? And is this issue of gays and minorities being overrepresented a problem to the point where they're oppressing the straight population, and the white population??? It's not a crime in the USA for a media corporation to be right-leaning, and call themselves "fair and balanced." Then again, if its an issue of the BBC being public property of the people of England, one could have an argument. I'd offer the rejoinder (at least for the people of the USA) that the corporate oligopoly are making several TENS of BILLIONS of dollars at the taxpayers' expense, since OUR airwaves have been given to them by unscrupulous politicians whose favor can be curried for only millions of dollars or less. (Seems like a pretty good ROI to any investor, eh?)

I offered a comment to their site which goes against the seven comments currently already published. In response, the page I'm sent to says "Your comment will be reviewed shortly. Comments may be edited and not all will be published." If my comment gets published, great. If, however, my comment goes unpublished, I'd name/frame that action as "censorship for the purpose of creating apparent consensus."

lyrics:

"When Black Friday comes
I'm gonna dig myself a hole
Gonna lay down in it
'Til I satisfy my soul"
-Steely Dan

colors: mustard yellow, ruby red, mint green

mood: sleepy

chant/prayer/mantra: may the voice in our fifth chakra be blessed today and every day.


pax hominibus,
joel

oh boy. when i grew up, i was in cub scouts, and then in boy scouts, until age 18. i was pretty busy with lots of other stuff and ended up doing all the work to get my eagle scout, but hadn't been attending as often as was expected because i had mandatory junior varsity basketball that conflicted with the scout meetings, so the scoutmaster didn't approve my eagle badge. let's just call it a learning experience.

anyway, since then i've discovered all about the boy scouts and their anti-gay stance, etc, and while i'm quite miffed about that, i still see some real value in the core of the boy scout program, if it were to be amended to be inclusive of values which i consider wholesome. their style of mentor-based learning in a wide variety of important subjects, and merit badges and skill awards to show proficiency is actually a good model, which is worth further investigating for alternate educational purposes. (sorry about that run-on sentence.)

so... the scouts are now doing work for the MPAA and RIAA. hmmm, in the scout law, the first item says a scout is trustworthy. hmmm, and the twelfth point says a scout is reverent. what if the value of being reverent to the one i consider God, as written in the bible so many turn to for inspiration, conflicts with the value of being trustworthy according to these corporate industries? from the mouth of sweet JC, it's pretty clear: "no servant can serve two masters. you cannot serve both God and Mammon(money)" comes to mind here. in short, i think this is value-perverted corporate propaganda that the boy scouts shouldn't be supporting. there may be people who argue, "oh, what about the artists, not getting their hard-earned money?" see above! this is one of Jesus' two most important messages, which, because of the difficulty in a capitalist society of addressing, or even considering it, gets ignored by most Christians.

lyrics: oh the good life is out there somewhere, so stay on my arm you little charmer. - the smiths

colors: transparent

mood: super, i got to go corduroy hunting with my sweetie, and found a pair that were okay, in maroon/wine-red.

chant/prayer/mantra: name it, frame it.


pax hominibus,
joel

 
i guess i didn't really know too much about emma goldman, but then when i was doing a google for "revjd" and found several other revjd's around, i also came across this post about emma goldman's defense during the nuttiness of nationalistic paranoid legislation present during world war one.

lyrics: it's your favorite foreign movie. peg, it will come back to you. - steely dan

colors: pure solid silver

mood: hokey.

chant/prayer/mantra: your face is a reflection.


pax hominibus,
joel

check the link above. randomly came across it while bored on craigslist. sometimes the internet is like a pinball machine.

pax hominibus,
joel

create your own personalized map of the USA

Also, just barely to Mexico (Nogales), and to Canada (Winnipeg, up to Banff), and to England (London and Reading). I wish I could visit everywhere.

lyrics: Theme from Carnivale

colors: wood paneling

mood: itchy, scratchy

chant/prayer/mantra: i'm breathing so i guess i'm still alive.


pax hominibus,
joel

pax hominibus,
joel

 
Item 1: Karl Rove reportedly said "Just get me a f__king faith-based thing," to the number man in charge of faith-based initiatives, according to this article. Amazing.

Item 2:
How they work, in a nutshell. The U.S. government collects mandatory taxes from the citizens. They give some of those taxes to some church organizations, who they see fit to carry out the work of helping the poor. In essence, this means that some churches have the U.S. government putting large donations into their offering plates, courtesy of the tax payers. Those same tax payers, having already paid their taxes to caesar, have less money to put into the offering plate at their own church, temple, mosque or synagogue, which if its not an adherent of some type of relatively conservative type of Christian theology, are not getting any taxpayer dollars toward their coffers. Do you trust that the groups that the Bush Administration would choose to feed the poor are going to do the best job? In essence, if the most-active church organizations (WRT feeding, housing and clothing the poor) are not getting any of the tax dollars, then the faith-based initiatives actually steal from the poorest, and give money to church organizations who may do a lackluster job or even just sit on the money and smile [shudder].

lyrics: Are you hep to the jive? - Cab Calloway

colors: red and white

mood: just waking up

chant/prayer/mantra: wake up.


pax hominibus,
joel

 
S asked me why I laughed while reading slashdot. Somebody made a half-inane comment that got modded up -- its inanity was actually funny to me.

So I explained the goofus and gallant reference, and she said she didn't read Highlights ever because it was a Christian magazine, or so she understood. Because I didn't recall a whit of overt Xtianity in Highlights, I did a search on "highlights christian magazine" and came up with the link at the title above. Interesting how studying and seminary life has turned my endeavors halfway into a monomania....

And,... it's interesting that the godsfriends.org article was written by a guy who was in the musical group Semisonic, an offshoot of one of my favorite bands, Trip Shakespeare. Hmm.

lyrics: Mom's gonna fix it all soon. Mom's coming round to put it back the way it oughtta be. - Tool

colors: black gold, yellow
speaking of black gold, is it strange for me to notice unnecessary lights on in the house, or in other places, and yell out "cheney!" as i turn them off? the connection is simple -- think back to the closed-door energy meetings at the beginning of the bush admin's first term, and the fact that none of the people in the oil/energy industry ask anyone to conserve anymore like we were asked to in the 70's energy crunch, unless its peak air-conditioning season. when i have a desktop computer on burning 300 watts, or a light on burning only 60, if it's not necessary, i see dick cheney's grimacing smile counting the money rolling in for him and his buddies, and i just have to do my part by shutting it off. "cheney!"

mood: overwhelmed. just found out the skinny on a whole bunch of hoops to jump through for school.

chant/prayer/mantra: authenticity is ugly. ugly is authentic.


pax hominibus,
joel

✓ I miss somebody right now. (lots of people)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	✓ I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies. (in public, no less.)	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. (nope, i'm always chill.)	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year. (and spiritually)	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me. (not since the stupid airline security stuff. i used to keep a leatherman in my bookbag since they're so handy, but i find that i forget to take it out when going on planes, and then realize at the airport after checking my bags but before going through the security checkpoint that i still have it, so i have to mail it to myself which is so annoying...)

× I have broken someone's bones. (no, but i've thought about it on occasion. :| i'm not proud of that.)	✓ I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal. (i think everyone's probably got one or more. if you don't, um.... want some?)	× I hate the rain. (rain's okay sometimes. i don't hate it, but sometimes i'd prefer not to get surprised while biking home...)
✓ I'm paranoid at times.	✓ I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. (i don't know what i'd do, but i'd go check it out. i'd rather stay as-is, and be able to change my avatar in VR.)	× I need/want money right now. (nope.)
✓ I love sushi.	× I talk really, really fast. (sloooowww...)	× I have fresh breath in the morning. (nope.)
× I have long hair. (used to, a couple times.)	✓ I have lost money in Las Vegas. (i went with twenty to lose, and i lost that.)	✓ I have at least one sibling.
× I was born in a country outside of the U.S.	✓ I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. (when i worked at the Great Dane in Madison, I wore this very nutty wig that looked oddly real, because it was my real hair color and a bit wavy, but was the most messed up hair. a coworker said the wig made me look like i had just gotten done mixing up CAT in the bathtub. (for the record, i have not ever tried methamphetamines, nor would ever advocate the use of it to anyone. scary stuff. but my wig looked like it.))	× I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
✓ I like the way that I look.	× I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.	✓ I am usually pessimistic.
× I have a lot of mood swings.	✓ I think prostitution should be legalized.	✓ I slept with a roommate. (oops)
✓ I have a hidden talent.	× I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.	× I have a lot of friends. (what's a lot mean?)
× I have pecked someone of the same sex.	× I enjoy talking on the phone. (the best conversations are under 1 minute, and to the point. holding the phone to my ear hurts my ear and my arm.)	✓ I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (ever since the big lebowski, i have a preference for those leisure pants/PJs when I can. either that or baggy shorts.)
✓ I love to shop and/or window shop. (guitar store, CD store.)	× I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.	× I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. (my mother is great.)
✓ I have a mobile phone. (it's okay i guess. i don't like being constantly available so sometimes just don't pick it up.)	× I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (hardly any alcohol lately, but back in the 'rites of passage' days i did have some very woozy blackouts.)	✓ I've rejected someone before. (i was a dummy in high school. cute girl but i was looking the other way... and i accidentally broke up with a couple girlfriends later on. oops.)
✓ I currently like/love someone. (lots of people, but especially my sweetie.)	× I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.	✓ I want to have children in the future. (yeah. one. maybe two, definitely no more than two.)
× I have changed a diaper before.	× I've called the cops on a friend before.	× I'm not allergic to anything.
✓ I have a lot to learn.	× I am shy around the opposite sex.	× I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
× I have at least 5 away messages saved.	✓ I have tried alcohol or drugs before. (is this a trick question?)	× I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
× I own the "South Park" movie.	× I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.	✓ I enjoy some country music. (old school - johnny cash, willie nelson, the mandrell sisters, dolly parton, kenny rogers)
✓ I would die for my best friends.	✓ I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.	× I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
× I think Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.	× I have dated a close friend's ex.	✓ I am happy at this moment.
× I'm obsessed with guys.	× Democrat. (yawn...)	× Republican. (heck no.)
× I don't even know what I am.	✓ I am punk rockish. (my heart plays distorted power chords, spits, and is covered in duct tape)	× I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
× I study for tests most of the time.	✓ I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.	× I can work on a car. (if i had taken small engine repair in high school, i'd have loved to get a ford F-150 Custom Deluxe for the classic engine.)
× I love my job(s).	✓ I am comfortable with who I am right now.	✓ I have more than just my ears pierced.
× I walk barefoot wherever I can.	× I have jumped off a bridge.	× I love sea turtles.
× I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.	✓ I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.	✓ I am proficient on a musical instrument.
✓ I hate office jobs.	× I went to college out of state.	× I am adopted.
× I am a pyro.	× I have thrown up from crying too much.	× I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
× I fall for the worst people.	✓ I adore bright colours.	× I usually like covers better than originals.
✓ I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.	× I can pick up things with my toes.	× I can't whistle.
✓ I have ridden/owned a horse.	✓ I still have every journal I've ever written in.	× I talk in my sleep.
✓ I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.	✓ I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.	× I wear a toe ring.
✓ I have a tattoo.	× I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.	✓ I am a caffeine junkie. (recovering caffeine addict. for me, caffeine is like alcohol, sadly.)
✓ I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.	× If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.	× I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
✓ I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.	✓ I'm an artist.	✓ I am ambidextrous.
× I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.	× If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony. (i'd live in a nudist colony either way.)	✓ I have terrible teeth. (my teeth are ok in general, but for some reason one of my teeth, the enamel is wearing too thin and its getting ugly.)
× I hate my toes. (i like my toes, and my feet.)	× I did this meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.	× I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
✓ I have lived in either three different states or countries.	× I am extremely flexible.	✓ I love hugs more than kisses.
× I want to own my own business.	× I smoke.	× I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
✓ Nobody has ever said I'm normal.	✓ Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.	× I am proficient in the use of many types of firearms and combat weapons.
✓ I like the way women look in stylized men's suits. (I think women in suits look jim-dandy, but don't generally find the look attractive in any sort of 'come hither' kind of way.)	✓ I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.	✓ I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds. (i'm not the only one.)
✓ I have played strip poker with someone else before. (yeah, in high school, and everybody wimped out.)	× I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.	× I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
× I can't stand being alone. (i like being alone, but not all the time.)	✓ I have at least one obsession at any given time.	× I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
× I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.	× I'm a judgmental asshole.	× I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
× I have travelled on more than one continent.	× I sometimes wish my father would just disappear. (no way. my dad's great.)	× I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
✓ I am a Libertarian. (not really.)	✓ I can speak more than one language. (english, mathematics, a little spanish, a little C)	× I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (my partner once fell asleep during a Corrosion of Conformity concert.)
✓ I would rather read than watch TV.	✓ I like reading fact more than fiction.	✓ I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do. (in fact i'm procrasstinating right now.)
× I have no piercings.	✓ I have spent the night in a train station or other public place. (does 'in the ditch by an exit ramp off of highway 94' in western Wisconsin' count? :) i don't know what i was thinking....)	× I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried. (i'm not excited about my gender, and wish there were technology where i could jump back and forth as my mood fits, but never felt so strongly about it to bring tears.)
× I once spent Christmas completely alone because there was a miscommunication on which parent was supposed to have me that night.	× There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.	× I like most animals better than most people.
× I own a collection of retro games consoles.	× The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.	× I have hit someone with a dead fish.
✓ I am compulsively honest. (i don't lie because i have such a selective memory that i couldn't keep the made-up stories straight.)	× I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.	× I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
✓ I have gone from wishing I was a girl to revelling in being a boy to feeling like a girl again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.	× I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.	× I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
× I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.	✓ I dislike milk. (yuck. rice milk all the way.)	× I obsessively wash my hands.
× I always carry something significant around with me.	✓ Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair. (i like the idea of having a few different looks, though a decent wig that doesn't look like some mall-chick or soccer mom (neither of which i'd aspire to look like) is $$$)	✓ I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others. (yup.)
× Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.	× I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.	✓ I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
× I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.	× Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.	× I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
× I do not 'get' most comedy acts. (i love and respect comics for saying what they say, often in the face of jeering, or worse, indifference.)	✓ I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing. (not any more than i think waitstaff, haircutters, or actuaries are money-greedy or slutty.)	× I don't like to chew gum.
✓ I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.	× I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.	✓ I had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years. (is it over yet?)
✓ I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.	× I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.	✓ I love to sing.
× I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.	✓ I have a custom-built computer.	× I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
× I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.	✓ I've gone skinny-dipping.	✓ I've performed in three plays.
✓ I enjoy burritos.	× I'm Irish and loving it.	× I have a thing for redheads.
× I am a twin!	✓ Most of the times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.	✓ Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else. (a friend once told me i'm like a spider who never drops a thread.)
× I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.	× I sleep more than 12 hours a day.	✓ I wish I could be prouder of what I've accomplished, but it's never enough.
✓ I need more time to myself.	✓ I wish I was more open-minded. (i consider myself very open-minded already, but the more open my mind is, the more i recognize it's just the beginning.)	× I hope that I go really prematurely grey.
✓ I download songs from the internet.	× I've just reenacted chapter 58 of Death Note with my best friend.	× I say random things to freak people out.
× I'm still a little mad about the ending of Death Note.	× I love playing Truth or Dare.	✓ I love listening to slow music, but I hate singing to it.
✓ Music helps me remember that I am not alone. (were it not for ministry, pixies, pj harvey, sonic youth, flaming lips, meat beat manifesto, melvins, and tool, i'd be lost.)	✓ Playing my favorite sport makes me temporarily forget my problems. (volleyball takes me away completely for an hour.)	✓ I think this survey is particularly long.
× I prefer my LJ friends to my real-life ones.	× I can only hate someone that I love.	× I've ordered an extra two shots of espresso to an Americano at Starbucks.

(Click
here to post your own answers for this meme.)

lyrics:
"Several Species Of Small Furry Animals Gathered Together In A
Cave And Grooving With A Pict" - Pink
Floyd

"Drill, drill, drill. Dugga, dugga, dugga." - Wire

colors: smoothe

mood: tired.

chant/prayer/mantra: engage.


pax
hominibus,
joel