Saturday, August 1, 2009
Clifton R.I.P.
.
My best friend from college took his life a couple weeks ago, and lots of people are trying to make sense of it. There's been a lot of anguish and grief, and also much anger, guilt, confusion, numbness, and other negative emotions on my part and on the part of family and other friends. I wrote a personal eulogy for him that I delivered at the funeral, crying through most of it. I hope my expression of what I felt lent some bit of understanding and relief for everyone else. I'm still coming to terms with this event, and the magnitude of that lost connection, never to be regained.
I won't go into details of my words, but the minister of their church shared a lot of wisdom as part of the funeral service. I found it online, so I thought I would share it here, as an honor to Clif and all who loved him and still love his memory.
In short, if anyone reading this is depressed* (or more accurately, suffers from chronic or acute depression), please know that it's better to share it than to keep it deep inside. The culture lived in by many of us tries to push a context of stigma onto depression, but when it does that, the world is wrong. My vision of a good and right world is one where we can share what we're going through. You can share it with me, at least. A blessed community has open ears for both the joys and the sorrows we're going through.
*There's a lot going on in the world that can generally bring a person down, even without mental illness or acute personal disasters. We all suffer to some degree from the former, except for people who live by an "ignorance is bliss" mantra, who might opt to trade awareness for some type of consciousness-lowering opiate. To counteract all that might depress us, it's important to also look for the good in life and in the world. Life becomes miserable pretty quickly when you can't see the light shining around all the edges.
chant/prayer/mantra: Call me if ever you need me.
pax hominibus,
agape to all,
joel
My best friend from college took his life a couple weeks ago, and lots of people are trying to make sense of it. There's been a lot of anguish and grief, and also much anger, guilt, confusion, numbness, and other negative emotions on my part and on the part of family and other friends. I wrote a personal eulogy for him that I delivered at the funeral, crying through most of it. I hope my expression of what I felt lent some bit of understanding and relief for everyone else. I'm still coming to terms with this event, and the magnitude of that lost connection, never to be regained.
I won't go into details of my words, but the minister of their church shared a lot of wisdom as part of the funeral service. I found it online, so I thought I would share it here, as an honor to Clif and all who loved him and still love his memory.
In short, if anyone reading this is depressed* (or more accurately, suffers from chronic or acute depression), please know that it's better to share it than to keep it deep inside. The culture lived in by many of us tries to push a context of stigma onto depression, but when it does that, the world is wrong. My vision of a good and right world is one where we can share what we're going through. You can share it with me, at least. A blessed community has open ears for both the joys and the sorrows we're going through.
*There's a lot going on in the world that can generally bring a person down, even without mental illness or acute personal disasters. We all suffer to some degree from the former, except for people who live by an "ignorance is bliss" mantra, who might opt to trade awareness for some type of consciousness-lowering opiate. To counteract all that might depress us, it's important to also look for the good in life and in the world. Life becomes miserable pretty quickly when you can't see the light shining around all the edges.
chant/prayer/mantra: Call me if ever you need me.
pax hominibus,
agape to all,
joel
Labels: pastoral care, personal religion
